Shaking Off the Dust Read online

  “No, Tom told me what was happening.”

  “No, Hannah, we all watched your face. Your eyes tracked as if you could see him strike Mateo repeatedly,” Bill argued.

  Everyone’s eyes told me they’d seen the same thing. Takeshi looked sympathetic. I’d given myself away and he couldn’t save me this time.

  I pushed the lock of hair back at Mateo. “I can’t do this. Tom, Eduardo, Sharon, Bethann, there are too many ghosts here.” I ran into the bedroom and slammed the door, but not before I saw the stricken look in Bill’s face.

  I didn’t want to see these ghosts. I didn’t want to look into their faces and hear their stories. My adult life was spent bearing witness to one tragedy after another in the emergency room and I believed there was something better for us when we died. I tried to ease the passing of those in pain, but to ease the pain of those already dead was something I didn’t understand how to do. I threw myself on the bed and screamed into the pillow.

  Someone stroked my neck and I knew the feel of those hands. I turned to look up into Takeshi’s face, going straight into his arms, and wailed, “What should I do? They know. I can’t face all those people.”

  “They won’t hurt you. You’re invaluable to their investigation, especially now.”

  “Not them, the ghosts. I can’t help them all, Shimodo.”

  “Then we will help them. You and I are strong together, Hannah. We managed to tame the FBI. We can send them into the light. We can start tonight with Bethann.”

  I stopped my crying. That sounded like something we could do. “Okay, I can do that. I mean we can do that.”

  “Let’s rejoin them and see what has changed. They still need our help. We must now set some serious ground rules,” Takeshi cautioned.

  I splashed cold water on my face before we went back out into the common room. They were still at the table except Bill. He came out of his room as Takeshi and I moved to the couch.

  Tom sat across from us on a chair. The three locals were at the table with Rachel and Jack. No one spoke.

  Bill knelt in front of me, in a whisper he said, “I think I realized the first time Tom touched me and I experienced the cold, that I’d felt it before.” He brought out a ribbon of braided hair and tried to hand it to me.

  Takeshi leaned forward and put his hand in a stop position. “Bill, we should talk to you about Bethann, but in private. She has things she needs to tell you before she can go on into the light. Hannah doesn’t want a crowd of people for what will be emotional for us all. You see, she is overwhelmed by these ghosts. They all need something from her, they all have emotional issues she can’t always meet.”

  Bill rocked on his knees and took my hand. “I’m sorry, Hannah. I realize how hard it is for you. But you are our link to answers that we require to save lives. Doesn’t that make a difference?”

  “Tom can be that link, Bill. I don’t think I can do it. I’m a great speaker box for Tom, but I’m not strong enough. I can’t make it all right for everyone.”

  Takeshi took my hand. “If you use her as a direct link it will do her mental and emotional harm. Worse yet, she will come to the attention of others who will not have your standards of integrity. She will not deal directly with any of the other plane crash victims, or anyone else except Sharon, Tom and Bethann.”

  “When did you become her manager?” Jack demanded.

  I looked at Takeshi and then at Jack. “He’s my friend. He’s much more to me then that, but first he is my friend. He’s the one person in this room who gives a damn about me. Do you, Jack? Do you care that it kills a little part of me every time I see them? Tom’s the only one that I feel certain I can help. So we are helping him. But even with that my goal is to send them into the light. To let him and the others move on to the next world. What’s your goal? Do you care that they’ve already suffered a terrible death and they still linger to help you find answers?” I sighed and shook my head. “When Tom steps into the light, I’m done. Even if it means I give up my chance to be taken into the light. I have to have choices in this. If you take away my choices, you put me in a prison, and I don’t deserve to be in a prison. I would not survive. I would make a choice not to.”

  “Miss Campbell—” Jack started to say.

  “Shut up, Jack,” Rachel said firmly. “At least act as if you have a soul, even if you don’t have a heart.”

  Enrique spoke in Spanish to Mateo and Hector. An extended conversation ensued. What appeared to be an argument grew forceful between Mateo and Enrique, before they turned to us and Mateo stepped forward.

  “We agree that we saw no evidence of Miss Campbell’s ability to see or communicate with anyone except Tom. We will not report to our government something we did not witness.”

  “I’m in agreement with your assessment.” Rachel looked to her boss. “What about you, Bill?” Her expression was beseeching.

  Bill was fingering the braid of hair in his right hand. He stared at it for a few seconds before he looked down at Takeshi. “You’re a man in love, Dr. Shimodo. I’ve known that since Washington. I understand you better now.” He turned to me then. “Yes, they all deserve to walk into the light. We’ll help you in that purpose. All of us.”

  Bill turned to Jack. “What you may not know about Jack is that his uncle’s a priest. He’s got seven brothers and sisters. He’s a tough bastard, but he does have a soul down there, hidden deep under ambition. He might beg you to help him on a case if he thought it would save a life. But he wouldn’t trade your sanity or life for someone else’s. We continue in this as we began with Tom as our liaison and Hannah as his voice.”

  Everyone, including me, nodded. I suspected that I was being placated, so that they might continue this investigation. But there was something honest in Bill and Enrique’s expressions that made me hope that their word stood for something. I trusted Takeshi’s instincts and he squeezed my fingers as if to say that it would all be okay.

  We joined them at the table again and they questioned Eduardo through Tom. He was assured he would see his children that same day. After which he eagerly answered questions. Two hours later I felt like someone had beat me.

  They would have continued, but Takeshi announced their time was up for the day. As our Spanish contingent left, Hector bent over to kiss my hand. “I will be taking Eduardo to the house where his children are staying. Perhaps if I leave one hair behind, he could see them until things have been arranged.”

  “Eduardo would be very grateful.” I smiled up at him. He was the quiet one, his face open and friendly.

  Mateo touched my shoulder. “You will find your way and you will discover a way to help Tom and all the others.”

  “I think you should ask Elena out. Tom says she likes you, and he tells me she is very pretty.”

  He laughed. “I am single, but I choose my own women. Tell Tom I appreciate the thought. I suspect that he is not pushing you on this subject, but that you are one of those matchmaking women. I have much to think of after this day, but tomorrow the questions become more intense.”

  Enrique was quiet and solemn. He had been since he came in that morning. I wondered what he did. Something in his careful eyes made me think he was the man in charge and I convinced myself I was on to something. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, because I shared his secret. Obviously, I was delusional. They left and oddly enough I’d grown fond of them. I looked around the hotel room at the three and made a decision.

  “We should move to another location. Someplace that newspaper people don’t know about. Takeshi and I need to be in a separate hotel and not bunking with FBI agents.” I waited for someone to refute my statement, but no one spoke.

  “They are going to snoop around. They’re already watching everyone involved in this investigation and if Mateo, Hector and Enrique return tomorrow, it will be a feeding frenzy.” I paced in front of the couch. “Please tell me I’m wrong.”

  Bill put the braid in his pocket. “Let me make some phone calls. Pack your
bags while I figure out where we go next.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Takeshi and I went to our bedroom to pack. I got as far as the bed and collapsed in the pillows.

  Takeshi came to sit next to me. “It’s been an exhausting day.” His hand captured mine, splaying my fingers, putting his between mine. He lay back so that our heads were touching. “I’ll be glad to get somewhere other than this hotel. Then we can eat dinner and rest for a while, but tonight we must meet with Bill and Bethann.” He stood, bent over and kissed my forehead.

  Takeshi came back about fifteen minutes later with a plate of crackers and two cups of soup. He also had Bethann’s braid of hair. “I told Bill about Sharon and what we were trying to do. He let me take this.”

  As he sat down, he pulled out his wallet and brought out two long golden hairs that were Sharon’s and handed them to me. I took them and the braid of Bethann’s hair at the same time.

  I was prepared to call their names to bring them to me, but a woman with long dark hair and startling gray eyes sat in a chair across from the bed with Sharon in her lap. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. The famous picture of Madonna and child came to mind.

  “Hello. Hannah, isn’t it?” the woman asked in a soft musical voice. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. I’m Bethann Kapin and you know Sharon.”

  I nodded my head.

  “Sharon and I have had a couple of days to get to know each other. We’ve been talking about things. Perhaps Dr. Shimodo would wish to write them down, because Sharon has told me a very interesting story about what happened to her. Bill and his coworkers need to know. Sharon wishes to leave with me when the time comes.”

  “Yes, that is what we hoped for her and you.”

  I gestured to Takeshi, who watched me intently. “We need a tape recorder.”

  He left the room in a bound.

  “You’re lucky to have found each other.” She cradled Sharon in her arms.

  “The baby is still with you?” I asked in a whisper.

  “No. They are too young to use free will. She disappeared into the light.”

  “You know we will tell Bill anything you want.”

  “It’s strange. All this time I thought I couldn’t go into the light because of Bill. I had to make him forgive himself for being late that night. When you brought Sharon to me, I realized I was wrong. I’m still here for her. To make sure her story’s told and then we will walk into the light together.” Bethann hugged Sharon. “But you see, she must make one last journey alone. She has to help the others, like her, who can still be reunited with their families. She understands this.”

  I started to become afraid for Sharon. There was real terror in her eyes. Bethann stroked her hair. “No one can hurt her again, but it is frightening to go somewhere alone, even for few minutes.”

  Takeshi came back into the room with Bill, who carried a small tape recorder. He turned it on as he moved to lean against the wall next to the closet. Takeshi sat on the bed, near me again, waiting.

  Bethann put Sharon up on her lap so she faced me. “Sharon, now you must tell Miss Hannah everything.”

  “My mommy left me home a lot,” she began and I repeated each sentence as she told it. “I always locked the door, but the last time she left it was for a very long time, so long that I ate all the crackers and peanut butter. All the cereal and milk and there was nothing left. So I knocked on Sherry’s door. She’s my mommy’s friend. I asked her where my mommy was, but she didn’t know either. She gave me five whole dollars and told me to go to the store and buy more crackers and peanut butter.” Sharon stopped and peeked at Bethann for comfort. “I got lost though. I walked a long time, but I couldn’t find the store or my way back home. I sat on the bench on the street and I cried for a long time. A lady picked me up. She had to pick up some other kids at a shelter, and then she said she’d help me find my way back home. She had a big long car and she put me and four other girls in the back. But she didn’t take me home.

  “Some of the girls were older. Molly’s ten and she said that the lady was very bad. She kicked the back of the car and screamed and told us to do the same. But the lady yelled if we screamed or kicked that she would not give us anything to eat. I was very hungry. She gave us pudding. When I woke up we were at a big house, somewhere I didn’t know. There were a lot of old people there and they said it was a church and we were their new members. That we must learn to be dicycles.”

  “Disciples,” Bethann corrected gently.

  “Yes, dicycles. They put us in a little room. I learned everybody’s name. Bethann told me that was a very good thing and very important. She said I should tell you everyone’s name.”

  Bethann nodded her head and Sharon started naming names. “I have a very good rememory. My mommy said I was special.”

  “Do you remember where you were, Sharon? Did they ever mention a town or city to you?” Bethann asked.

  “I don’t think so. I would have remembered,” she said confidently.

  “Sharon tell them what happened to you,” Bethann coaxed.

  “They showed us how to be dicycles and made us go to different people’s rooms. There were six of us to a room. The man was mean, he yelled a lot. He would hit us if we didn’t do what he said. I tried to run away and he found me and hit me. Then there was a light and I could go to different places, but no one could see me or would talk to me.”

  Bethann hugged her and kissed her forehead. “Now it’s time for you to check on your friends there. And to listen in case they say where they are or the name of a town, state or the church.”

  “You’ll be here when I come back?” Sharon wrapped Bethann’s long hair around one small fist until it covered her hand and rubbed it to her cheek in a gesture of agitation.

  “Of course I’ll be here. I told you we are going into the light tomorrow. You and me together, it will be exciting. I would come with you if I could, Sharon, but this is for you to do for all the others they are keeping from their families. You want to help, yes?” Bethann helped her unwind her fist and kissed the palm. “I will be waiting, I promise.”

  Sharon’s eyes got very big, but her face was determined. She disappeared in a blink.

  I could not have made Sharon do what Bethann asked of her. “Shall I turn off the recorder? Would you like to talk to Bill now or are there things you’d like to talk about with me or Takeshi first?”

  “I’d like to talk to Bill, I think,” she said. “Before Sharon comes back. I gave her a list of things to accomplish.”

  Takeshi left at a signal from me.

  Bill stood quietly in front of the bed. I turned off the recorder.

  “Leave it on,” Bill said. “I want to always have what she tells me.”

  Bethann stood and came to Bill. She touched his cheek and sort of walked around, him, touching him as she moved. “I’ve loved you from the instant I met you in college.”

  I repeated each word. I spoke in a whisper, trying to mimic the tone of her voice.

  “I was happy that day, content with my world. I had everything a woman could want, a husband I adored with a baby on the way. I wasn’t paying attention on the stairs and tripped. There was no pain. There was nothing. I watched myself lying there and then I looked down at my abdomen and the baby disappeared in a flash of light. Then a light appeared beside me. I knew I should walk into the light to leave this world, but I felt like I could not do that yet.”

  Bill moved to the only chair in the room, sitting next to the small table. He put his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Bethann.”

  “I sorrowed for you daily. Had you been there, it would not have made any difference, except perhaps you would have realized that. So I prayed that somehow I could tell you to let me go, to release you from your guilt, from your grief. Then I could join the light and you could give yourself back to this world. Find your purpose and happiness here.”

  Bill looked up at me and I looked at Bethann. “What changed?”


  “While you were ill, Hannah, I talked a long time with Tom. He told me about your accident and surgery then your ability to see and communicate with ghosts. Ask Bill what the date November tenth means to him.”

  I asked him.

  “It’s the day Bethann died, two years ago.” Bill said it as if I should know that.

  “Now tell him what that date means to you,” Bethann said.

  “It’s the day of my accident, it’s the day I died for a minute or two.” My words came out slowly as I tried to figure what this meant.

  “I think in the same moment I fell down those stairs, Hannah died on an operating table and that set in motion this course of events. Hannah lived and was given the gift of being able to see those of us who could not enter the light. We still have purpose here. You see, I believe my love for you kept me from stepping beyond, so that I would be here for Sharon. We have all been brought together to complete our purpose.”

  There was silence for several minutes. Bill looked at me and I shrugged. “It makes some strange kind of sense.”

  “Sharon will return soon from the place I sent her, in the hopes of finding new information that will help us discover where all those children were taken. You will find those people who hurt Sharon.”

  Bill opened his mouth and tried to form words.

  “You don’t need to tell me anything. I’ve always known your heart. Tonight I’ll be with you then you need to let go forever.”

  Bill’s cell phone went off and I jumped. Mumbling a curse, he looked down as if he wouldn’t answer it, but he did. For a moment he just listened, then put his hand over the receiver. “I’m sorry but I need to take this call. I have to get you moved into new housing tonight. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He walked out of the room.

  Waiting patiently for Bill, Bethann sat there like she’d been doing it her entire life, and for the last two years she had.

  The bedroom door opened and shut as Takeshi returned. Sitting next to me, he touched my face, which was wet from tears. I’d managed not to begin the sobbing that was trying to crawl out of my throat.