Shaking Off the Dust Read online

  “I never show a preference for him over you. Ever. Nor do I want to sleep with him.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and lay my head against his chest. “Put your jealousy away and keep your eyes on today’s dilemma.”

  “I’m afraid this new happiness can be snatched away at the whim of this Tomas Ramirez. Perhaps you should tell Bill and Enrique you cannot attend the ball?”

  “Didn’t you give me the ‘it’s meant to be’ speech earlier? Either it’s meant to be or it’s not.”

  He shook his head. “You see, this is how you tangle my mind with words from my own mouth. It is times like this I want to throw you down and show you how I feel.”

  “Again, you’re acting like I’m a sure thing.”

  “You are a wanton thing,” he whispered and kissed my neck. “Shall I show you?”

  “Not now. You’ve got phone calls to make. I’m going up to our room to read.” I trailed my hand along his arm as I walked away.

  Dinner was sumptuous and Eszie announced she was spending the night. Enrique stated that he had been looking forward to reading to her all day and they were soon gone. I felt uncomfortable leaving Bill alone—since Bethann—but he asked us if we minded if he went to the library to make some phone calls. Takeshi took that as permission for us to retire.

  When we reached our room, Takeshi pulled out a list of my medications and we sat down at the small table. “I spoke with Dr. Chen, staff OB at the university. The medications I crossed off must be stopped. Tom indicated that the meds he put you on were preventative. They are to help avert chronic headaches, but it has been long enough since your surgery that the worst of those should have passed. He felt you could do a trial of not taking them and see if the headaches return. We come down to your heart medications and I contacted Dr. Santiago. In order to take you off those medications, he felt we’d need to consider other options. In an extreme case, a pacemaker or ablation.”

  “What!” I jumped up.

  “Now, stay calm. He thinks there’s a chance you may be able to come off the medications without any ill effects, but he’s concerned it’s too soon to try. When we go to Madrid tomorrow he wants you to come into the hospital so he can stop your meds under observation.”

  “What about the masked ball?”

  “You must forego the ball,” he declared.

  “Not likely, Shimodo. I’ll stop all my meds, but we have to get the information we need for them to find who bombed that plane.”

  “Hannah, please consider all the possibilities.”

  “You and I both know you want me out of this thing. You can’t let us get to the edge and not see the end of it. I’ll talk to Dr. Santiago tomorrow. I am taking you at your word, Shimodo. It’s meant to be. Don’t blame me if I can’t count on this pregnancy as a sure thing. I know how it’s likely to end. After less than two weeks it’s early to be counting on anything. When I’m thirty-three weeks, we can discuss the whole issue of labor versus C-section.”

  “You must have a C-section. Tom is very insistent on that.”

  “Tom’s overly careful.”

  “I’m your doctor. Sounds like I need to congratulate you. Takeshi is beside himself over the confirmation of his sensitive nose.”

  “This is a private conversation, Tom. Go away,” I grumped.

  “You called my name, remember that. I’m going to be this child's guardian angel. I already decided.”

  I stopped short, surprised. “Really?”

  “If I have any pull with God, I’ll keep this little one safe.”

  “Damn, Tom, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  “Yes you did. You choose to dwell on the negative aspects of my personality.”

  I smiled at him and nodded. “You’re an easy target, just like me.”

  “I used to think that, but I don’t believe you’re such an easy target. So what’s the arguing about? You’re not supposed to argue until you get married.”

  “You’ve already gotten the lowdown from Takeshi. What’s not to argue over?”

  “Tom, tell her she needs to consider all options, the sooner the better,” Takeshi prompted.

  “He’s worried about you and this baby. Can’t you give in to him? Stay away from the ball.”

  “Are you going to stay home from the ball?”

  Tom frowned and shook his head. “Of course I’m going. Wouldn’t miss it. But I’m not pregnant and coming off heart medications.”

  “I need to go and you know it.” I paced the room. “Look I know you are only concerned for me and now this.” I pointed to my stomach. “I can’t lose myself in you, Takeshi. We both agreed to help Tom and find these terrorists, that hasn’t changed.”

  Takeshi frowned. “Hannah, you have been through so much. It’s time for you to take care of yourself. If you want this pregnancy, it will require that you change some small things.”

  “I’m saying I will be at the ball. I’ll make it possible for Tomas Ramirez to be present as his sisters walk into the light. After that, I’ll do whatever the good doctor can convince me will be best for this pregnancy and my health. From there on, it’s up to Bill and Enrique to round them all up. I can answer ghostly questions from home if need be.” Tom nodded, but Takeshi wanted to argue more so I gave my best quelling face.

  “Don’t try your emergency-room-nurse face on me, Hannah,” Takeshi challenged. “It doesn’t work. You might as well learn that now rather than later. I will be at your side through all of this, every minute. I’ll even be following you to the bathroom at this ball. So be prepared to be very good there. I would hate to hurt someone you were friendly to because they came following after you.”

  “Ooh, I’m so scared,” I baited him.

  He pulled me out of the chair, picked me up and threw me on the bed. “Tom, get the hell out of here.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It rained all night and the wind had an angry voice as it blew through the trees causing them to scratch against the balcony doors. I incorporated the sounds into my dream and woke with my heart thumping in my chest, trying to get away from someone chasing me. I was afraid, the dream lingering in my subconscious. I wanted to wake my man and let him make the fear go away.

  I turned to look at him, my heart slowing, but seeing his face made it give a little skip. Could we have a family together? Would he love me in the real world, my world, where there were no romantic dramas catalyzing our emotions? Would he stay with me through an uncertain future? If this pregnancy failed, would he still want a future with me? Insecure? You bet!

  I slid out of the bed and walked to the veranda door, pulling back the curtain to watch the rain and lightning play against the night sky. God demonstrated his majesty, and I was his humble witness.

  I feared that Takeshi would be snatched away from me. My happiness was a thread from his heart to mine. I leaned my head against the windowpane, the cold leaching my warmth, my tee shirt not providing near enough insulation. I pulled up a chair to the door and sat cross-legged, my mind playing out every bad scenario possible in a relationship. I let the cold seep into my bones.

  “Hannah.” Takeshi was naked, his body shining as lightning filled the sky again. He looked like some angel who had lost his wings, his body sculpted and perfect. He knelt beside the chair and pressed his face into my lap.

  I combed my fingers through his hair savoring its texture, so soft and thick. Like his entire body, it was a sensual feast. “I love the feel of your hair. I always wanted thick curls like this. It almost tickles as it slides through my fingers,” I whispered.

  “What’s the matter, Hannah? Tell me so I can help you.”

  “I’m frightened, Shimodo, afraid I’ll lose you or lose myself in you. Thunder and lightning are a prelude to bad things in my life. I’m terrified fate has trifled with us. This storm, it’s a reminder that our lives can change in an instant.”

  He lifted his face until it was even with mine. Those dark eyes were full of sadness. “You’re trying to p
ull away from me. I can feel it. My heart and body know you now. You are already a part of me. I can’t let you create a barrier where none exist. Please, Hannah, don’t do this to us. Let me inside.” He moved me against his body as he knelt. He rocked against me as he spoke in his deep Japanese, pleading, coaxing until I clung to him.

  I wanted to show him I wasn’t withdrawing, but I was. My fears overwhelmed me. “I can’t stop being afraid. I’m sorry, you deserve so much better than this, than me. Don’t you know that?”

  He stopped rocking. He leaned back from me, inches away, but I was suddenly alone again. I watched his features change, as the uncertainty disappeared from his eyes. “You are mine, Hannah. I let your fears overwhelm me. You don’t need to worry, because I will remind you how much you love me, how much I love you.” His voice so soft I had to move closer to hear him.

  He dragged me down onto the rug in front of the door as the night displayed its fireworks. His mouth clamped on a breast through the tee shirt, almost painful as he worked his teeth and jaws, tugging on my nipple in a long warm draw. One of his hands had captured the other underneath that tee shirt and kneaded roughly, trying to make me feel his power over me. He played my body like an artist, until he coaxed the music that he knew was inside of me.

  I swam in sensations. His talented tongue glided over that nub, producing sounds from my throat in gasps. He taunted and sucked me into his mouth. I was so close.

  He stopped. He knew how close I was, he always knew.

  “Don’t stop. Please, Takeshi, I need you inside me,” I begged.

  “Tell me how much you need me, my sweet Hannah. Tell me you are mine now and always.” He crawled up my body, his hard length dragging along my thigh until his cock was there. “Tell me now, Hannah. I need you to admit it to us both.”

  His tongue trailed down from my collarbone to my breast, teasing me, making me arch against him, every fiber imploring him to continue. “Takeshi, you are a perfect fit in me, to me. Don’t ever leave me needing you this much. I love you. I love your mind, your soul and your body that fits me like we were once one person. Please don’t make me wait.”

  He fisted my breast into his mouth and pulled hard against me as he slammed into my body. I screamed, “Yes, please yes!” His body draped over me, keeping one arm on my shoulder as his mouth continued to pull against my nipple. I gloried in that amazing piece of him plunging into my core over and over, sliding against every sensitive nerve inside me. I whimpered in ever increasing notes of pleasure. He shifted until he was looking down into my face, his body moving against me, our bodies sliding, arching, meeting each other.

  “You’re mine, Hannah. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you see it in my eyes? Never be afraid that we don’t love each other enough. Tell me you know this.” He said the words like he was telling me the next sexual pleasure he would offer me, full of innuendo and dark thoughts.

  “Yes, Takeshi.” I opened my mouth to scream my pleasure and he drew it out of my mouth into his and groaned so long and hard against me that I thought he had passed out. I wasn’t cold anymore. He took a long shuddering breath and tucked me into his side possessively.

  We watched the lightning dance across the night sky. When it was but a rumble in the distance, I fell asleep listening to him tell me something lovely in Japanese.

  I woke three more times that night to his restless hands, mouth and sex, claiming me as his, with fierce insistence. This male was not the sweet meditative Takeshi. It was an alpha male branding his mate in a dominance ritual. He made certain I understood that I was his now and nothing would change that.

  I woke to the morning light, still joined to my man, his natural length and size maintained that penetration. His arm draped over my hip. We smelled of sex and sweat and I buried my face into his neck and inhaled. He was mine.

  Eszie came down to breakfast ready to dance again. She was disappointed when Takeshi announced we needed to return to Madrid. It was still raining outside, so it seemed inhospitable to rush off. Neither Bill nor Enrique were surprised by the news we were going to meet Dr. Santiago. I figured Takeshi had talked to them already or Dr. Santiago had called to inform them. Either way, I didn’t like the smell of male testosterone in the room. These males might consider themselves tough, but let’s see them shove out a baby.

  “We’ll leave in the next hour if the weather permits. Dr. Santiago wanted you to arrive early enough to keep you two days before the ball. He told us it was related to your heart medications. Is there something we should be concerned about, Hannah? Have you been ill again?” Enrique asked.

  “Just a tune-up. He told me the other day when I saw him that he wanted to redo some tests. That’s all.”

  I could be a government agent. I could fabricate with the best of them. Of course they assumed I was pregnant. Why they needed me to confirm that was frustrating.

  Despite the intermittent rain, it was a pleasant drive back to Madrid. We arrived at the same hospital we’d been after my face was bruised, and were led to a private room. Bill and Enrique bid farewell and promised to visit tomorrow.

  I was scarcely pregnant and I knew my insurance was not going to cover this hospital stay. I was calculating cost versus days—I needed to work extra to cover it—when Takeshi asked me what I was doing. He’d been watching me put in numbers on the calculator I’d pulled out of my wallet.

  “Reality, Shimodo. Let’s get on the same page here.”

  “You do realize I have a good income, right?”

  “You’re not the one in this bed and you are not the one who will get the bill. I have to know what it will take on my part to pay for this. Oh, and if I do need any other procedures, it’s getting done at my hospital where my insurance will cover most of it.”

  He took my hand. “The sooner you marry me, the sooner you will be on my insurance.”

  “It’ll be on my insurance. Besides, marriage is a whole other discussion that we are not having right now.”

  “Why are we discussing money? It is my worry, not yours. It is the most minor of things.”

  “Perhaps to you. I was out sick for months after my accident. I know exactly what impact the bills have on my life. I won’t worry once I figure out how much overtime I’ll need to pick up.”

  Tom popped in with Brodie who glanced around. Tom had gotten the gist of our conversation. “Don’t worry about paying these bills.”

  “This from the man whose staff offered to garnish my wages so I could pay the good doctor his pound of flesh. I worked over four hundred hours of overtime to pay you off. So don’t lecture me in that flippant way that only surgeons use. I have those two days of observation after the big bolt of lightning to take care of too. Plus factoring in every other thing this will affect.” I pointed to my belly.

  “You can use my money to pay for all of it,” Tom offered. “It’s Takeshi’s money now. He can pay, it is his fault after all.”

  “Not going to happen, Tom. We are not married. We just started sleeping together. I’m not in a hurry to get hitched. I expect him to be there for me, to help support this child, when he or she is born. I’ve been living in luxury for several days now, but I know better. I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve gotten. Complications always cost something, usually cash.”

  They stared at me as if I’d grown a second head.

  Dr. Santiago showed up finally. “Now begins the thorough physical you should have had days ago.” He saw Takeshi’s face. “Is there a problem?”

  “No, nothing I can’t deal with. Tell me what you know.” I answered.

  “Based on what Dr. Shimodo tells me, you’re about two weeks pregnant. But based on the quantitative beta result, I would guess you are much further along. Or…you are carrying more than one child.”

  “Oh hell no. Twins? Hand me that calculator.”

  Dr. Santiago smiled. “Very high numbers.”

  Takeshi went to the chair next to the bed and sat down.

  “I have talked with several
cardiologists and they believe the caffeine, sleep deprivation and stress caused your last episode. We should take you off those meds as of today. If you do have another heart episode, we would have to consider interventional options that would be of benefit.”

  I nodded at Takeshi, sticking out my tongue. “So when is lunch?”

  “I’ll let you eat soon. We’ll get a baseline ultrasound. I don’t expect it show much, too early for a heartbeat or even a fetal pole. Your electrolytes are still off, continuing on the low side. I’m taking you off your diuretics for your inner ear, but I’m putting you on a very low sodium diet, which I expect Dr. Shimodo will help you maintain. Tomorrow I want to do a glucose tolerance. I know you are hungry all the time, feeding a growing fetus, or three, but I am concerned that you have lost weight. Besides, I’m betting you will be difficult to catch anytime soon for these tests.”

  “Alright, sounds fine to me. Send in lunch, I’m starving again.”

  “This is supposed to be a restful time for you. You look tired, Hannah. Try to get some rest.”

  Takeshi looked up at him. “I’ll make sure she rests. I know Japanese voodoo.”

  “Oh my God, Shimodo, that was perfect.” Who knew he was gorgeous, a sex god and funny. “I thought you were mad at him for giving you drugs.”

  “Now that I have considered, I realize he was allowing me the rest I needed to keep up with you.”

  Dr. Santiago glanced back and forth between us, trying to figure out the joke.

  “So I can go to the ball on Friday night?”

  “No. We are taking you off your heart medications. I don’t want any new stressors for you. That ball would be a huge one.”

  “Wait, you can’t just say no. I’ve been looking forward to the ball. I have a job to do there. You could spend at least one minute convincing me it’s the right thing to do,” I grumped.

  “I’d be wasting my time and yours.” Santiago shook his head. “Answer one question, is this dance more important than those babies you’re carrying?” He raised an eyebrow while he waited for my response.